Sermon Series: Wholes
1. Hurt People, Hurt People; Whole People, Love People
SESSION MATERIALS
Sermon Slide Deck (Public) [My notes]
Take the ACEs Test mentioned in the sermon
Video: Broken Vessels by Hillsong
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
Being Vulnerable is the only way to work through your holes en route to Wholeness
Share your 5 things you like about yourself and the 5 things you don’t like about yourself.
Identify 3 of the video clips that you play in your mind. What life situations most often prompt their replay? How often do they replay?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how well do you healthily love yourself? (1=I’m full of holes. 10=I am Whole in Christ). What does this look like in how you live your daily life?
What are the “video clips” that you replay from holes in your life that keep you from being WHOLE?
How have you experienced the phrase, “Hurt people, hurt people” within yourself or observing others?
Brainstorm how can you love someone else who is full of holes. (What shouldn’t you do?)
How can Paul’s prayer in Eph 3:16-19 help you today?
FOR FURTHER STUDY or NEXT STEPS
You may want to enter into a professional counseling relationship to better explore deep hurts.
Take this Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Self-Test from Peter Scazzero
BOOKS
Scazzero, Peter, Emotionally Healthy Church
Scazzero, Peter, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
2. I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made (What is Going On in My Brain?)
SESSION MATERIALS
Session Slide Deck (Public) [My notes]
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
How did you react to the optical illusions? It’s crazy how our brain fills in gaps and tells stories.
What are three stories that you have told yourself that affect you negatively today?
How can you do to stop and consider what story you are telling about another person?
When have you caught yourself spinning a mental story of someone else only to discover that it was completely wrong?
How might your understanding that you tell stories and that others tell stories (possibly inaccurate ones) better help you relate to and love others?
How often do you practice self-awareness to monitor your body, thoughts, and emotions?
When might you use the three questions to help you realize you are wonderfully and fearfully made:
Is it true?
Is it helpful?
Is it kind?
What are your thoughts after reading the summary of Jeffery Schwartz’s book (see below)?
FOR FURTHER STUDY or NEXT STEPS
Watch
Isaac Lidsky: “What reality are you creating for yourself?” | TEDTalk (YouTube) [11:47]
BOOKS
Schwartz, Jeffry, You Are Not Your Brain: The 4-Step Solution for Changing Bad Habits, Ending Unhealthy Thinking, and Taking Control of Your Life
Here is a summary of Schwartz’s book
Thompson, Curt. The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
3. I am Enough (Overcoming Unrealistic Standards)
SESSION MATERIALS
Session Slide Deck (Public) [My notes]
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
How often do you listen to the false messages that your brain tells you? What are the results?
Which of the Cognitive Distortions or Distorted Thinking Patterns affect you the most? And in what situations?
All-or-nothing/black-or-white thinking
Catastrophizing/fortune-telling
Discounting the positive
Emotional reasoning
Mind reading
“Should” statements
Faulty comparisons
False expectations
How might the three questions help you feel with these false messages (broken soundtracks)?
Is it true? One of the greatest mistakes you can make is assuming that all your thoughts are true.
Is it helpful? When I say this again and again, does it push me forward or does it pull me back?
Is it kind? If they aren’t kind, dismiss them.
Practice the four steps from Schwartz to deal with deceptive brain messages:
RELABEL - Label the destructive thought
REFRAME - This is just my limbic system (brain) and not my true self.
REFOCUS - Do something different to refocus your attention.
REVALUE - Regularly use this process to rewire your brain.
Who do you know who is spiritually mature and yet still struggles with emotional hurts that affect them? How can you listen more?
What new messages might you repeat to train your mind to make new ruts in your brain? How about: Define yourself radically as one beloved by God!
Who is a safe friend that you could be vulnerable with that could journey with you as you explore the inner hurts? It might need to be a professional counselor.
FOR FURTHER STUDY or NEXT STEPS
Examine the Wheel of Awareness
Work through the Distorted Thinking Patterns
Explore Fixed vs Growth Mindsets Summary of Carol Dweck’s Mindsets (and video of her TedTalk)
Watch
Dove Real Beauty Sketches | You’re more beautiful than you think [6:00]
Guy Winch: “How to Practice Emotional Hygiene” TEDTalk (YouTube) [17:22]
BOOKS
Brown, Brene. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Brown, Brene. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Scazzero, Peter. Emotionally Healthy Church.
Scazzero, Peter. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.
4. I am Holy (Overcoming Shame)
SESSION MATERIALS
Session Slide Deck (Public) [My notes]
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
How often do you buy the lie that you have to have it all together, refusing to face the pain of your past?
How often do you hide behind a mask petrified that someone will discover the real you?
What failures have you had that have been like a ball and chain preventing you from living life to the fullness that Christ desires?
What is your next best step toward self-care so that you can be whole, and able to love others as they need to be loved?
FOR FURTHER STUDY or NEXT STEPS
Schedule an appointment with a Christian Counselor.
Check out Truth in Love Counseling in Bloomington IL. 309.585.0241
Work through the 15 Self-Awareness Practices
Watch
Matthew West, “Truth Be Told” [3:47]
Guy Winch: “How to Practice Emotional Hygiene” TEDTalk (YouTube) [17:22]
What causes Christians to dismiss emotional hygiene easily?
Describe times of trauma, mistakes, failures, or sin from your past.
How does your mind react to these memories?
What negative messages do you tell yourself because of past trauma, mistakes, failures, or sin?
What rumination playlists do you play in your mind? (Have any “failure” or “shame” Soundtracks?)
What kind of actions or behavior do these negative messages produce?
What new stories can you tell yourself?
In addition to the spiritual habits that we must practice to have a healthy relationship with God, what emotional hygiene practices might you incorporate into your daily or weekly routine to have a more healthy view of yourself, your inner world, and your life story?
What new soundtracks might you curate? List them out and keep them in a prominent place (in a notes app, on your mirror, in your Bible)
BOOKS
5. I am Valuable (Overcoming Depression)
SESSION MATERIALS
Watch this 2-minute Video Clip on Depression before working through the slides. We may not be able to show it live on Sunday.
Session Slide Deck (Public) [My notes]
Depression is like a wild, out-of-control bull - no sound [34 sec]
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
How can you become more informed or seek a deeper understanding of mental health in the Christian community?
In what ways might you practice compassion with and deeply love those in your life that you know or suspect might struggle with mental illness?
What do you need to do to guard your tongue in making spiritually flippant comments about those who suffer from mental illness and listen more?
Memorize a few of the strategies to help a person who has a panic attack
FOR FURTHER STUDY or NEXT STEPS
Explore
Saddleback Community Church’s Hope with Mental Health includes videos and other resources
Watch
Andrew Solomon: “Depression: The Secrets We Share” TEDtalk (YouTube) [29:21]
What was your initial reaction to this TED talk?
How did Solomon shape your understanding of depression? How does Solomon’s story compare to what you have thought about depression and mental health in general?
What questions do you have after watching it?
“There is Hope” from There is Hope for Mental Health (A Rap/Spoken Word Music Video) - “This song was written to share hope with those who struggle with mental illness and to help break down the stigma and stereotype. People need to know that God cares and so does the church! Together, let's make it ok to reach out and talk about it.”
BOOKS
6. I am Loved (Overcoming Loss, Grief, and Loneliness)
SESSION MATERIALS
Session Slide Deck (Public) [My notes]
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
What attitude change is needed in your life to see life not through the lens of your holes but through what God is doing in your life to grow you toward being WHOLE?
How can you use your holes to help be a source of healing for others to be WHOLE?
Reflect on your healed holes so that you can better pay attention to those who are lonely, hurting, grieving, or having a hard time with change. Listen. Be fully present.
How can we as a church community be the most loving group of people on the planet, to love and to work with God to bring about WHOLEness to holey situations?
FOR FURTHER STUDY or NEXT STEPS
BOOKS
Wright, H. Norman. Experiencing Grief